Pushing Towards Bliss and Rejuvenation

The stress to succeed bears down on the shoulders of a determined perfectionist. The days count down until there are mere hours until the first of a series of exams will be placed down on the desk expectingly, staring up at the nervous, confident, or somewhere in between student with an unforgiving glare. There is fear, exhaustion, and procrastination. There are projects, essays, and presentations. All of this adds to the foreboding pressure of midterms, determining the final grades that many have worked diligently for the past few months to keep in check.

The holiday season is on full blast, but not for the high school student. With Christmas songs, holiday parties, and the thought of two weeks off comes the large barrier that takes the form of a mound of school work that must be overcome before any of such joys are to be had. Wistful thinking of the festive future brings especially severe bouts of depression unique to December, when one is brought back to the reality of facing the school week ahead. Gift shopping and cookie baking will have to wait until the last assignment is safe in the hands of the grader and there are no more significant responsibilities weighing down on an already overwhelmed mind.

Though with the seemingly endless number of assignments and the heightened risk of a mental breakdown comes the immense satisfaction when one has (more or less) successfully completed what needs to be done. Unique only to this system is the rush of happiness, pride, and relief that overtakes when the final paper is submitted and the last question on the last exam is answered. Nothing stands in the way of the long awaited holiday break except the car ride home. The ability to relax is that much more appreciated and well deserved for both students and teachers alike, who both would like nothing more than to not see each other until the first days of January.

So fear not, while the rest of the world prepares for the most wonderful time of the year, and the path to a break in the endless flow of higher education seems decades away, one can rest assured that the bliss that comes on that last day before break will be more satisfactory than any other person's joy over reaching the home stretch of the week before Christmas. The amount of work accomplished in a short span of time, whether over a week and a half or the last twelve hours, is impressive and all the more deserving of time off. The burnt out, trudging along, day by day irritation will be replenished into the New Year's rejuvenation, giving students the power they need to get through till the next break when the cycle will repeat itself over and over again until the long awaited three month vacation of summer is on the horizon.

An Analysis on Impending Chaos

"The horror, the horror!"

A phrase that would seem fitting to many after this radical month of sudden twists and turns. The end of the year rapidly approaches, and yet there seem to be no indication that there will be any decrease in the continuous flow of surprise and disbelief that stem from the decisions of one particular president-elect. Just this week, it was officially announced that a neurosurgeon is to be running the Housing and Urban Development department. Because what's more in tune with the standard of urban, suburban, and rural living than a PhD in the human brain, right? 

Yes, the world is turned upside down and history will glare unforgivingly to this newfound rise of extreme populism that seems to be taking modern society by storm. There will be a time, in the future when one looks back and wonders, "How did that even get passed?" How, indeed?  Until that day, when hopefully there is more control and a safer feel in the often turbulent world humanity was graced with, one can spend their time coping with reality by perhaps looking into the logistics, the likelihood of these results. How did a widely considered bigot with a ridiculous toupee become President of the United States when compared to someone who has been in the field their entire career? It would normally seem completely out of the question. However, as surprising and unsatisfactory as it is, the real question one must ask themselves is how could he not win?

For a proper answer full of a social scientist's thesis on humanity and civilization with statistics and entire textbooks dedicated as proof, one could simply turn to the idea of social cycles. The theory, albeit complex, almost always calls for a rise in capitalism or leadership that is wildly radical after a period of intellectualism. It is economy based, and often, unfortunately for the current situation of the USA, results in a period of chaos or social revolution: a crash that starts the cycle back at the first stage of rebuilding a more evolved society. This does indeed fit with the outcome of the election and may even offer those intellectuals interested in such a thing some piece of mind. At least it's an answer. Based on this theory it makes logical sense that after a period of relative progressiveness and social evolution into the 21st Century perspective, the rise of such frightening populism would come to be. Hitler rose to power after a widespread global age of social progress, did he not? For with progress comes an equal lack of progress. Every action has an equal opposite reaction. Intellectual leadership spurs new command based on the contrary. 

Of course, most people don't spend their free time idly flipping through some professors one hundred page thesis on the complex workings of social patterns. Instead, they need something simple. Something that would make sense to anyone. To this majority, the answer seems obvious. The man won the presidency because there's no way he couldn't. Think of it as a fictional story. What is more likely to happen, the outgoing, different, unique character gaining victory, or the run of the mill safe character wining? The difference between the two candidates was obvious. While the winner is under-qualified and wildly out of control for stereotypical Presidential decorum, he is the one with more pizzazz. He is more interesting. One with a personality such as his is not one who simply loses and fades back into mediocrity. He is far too grandiose for such triviality.

So, of course Trump won the election. He was the victor from the beginning. The one with wild ideas that seem too ridiculous to be true. How could something as outrageous of that simply be ignored or voted against? It doesn't take much to excite people en mass. Who needs facts when there's a man in a bright red hat promising to "make America great again" regardless of consequence? Who wouldn't want to see how that plays out? Pay no mind to the millions of people who could possibly suffer from the decisions of this man. Give no attention to the impending global environmental crisis. This man is completely out of the ordinary! How amazing is that?! How can the country pass up an opportunity like this? 

Rest assured, fellow intellectuals who are reminded of countless pieces of literature warning us of the devastation of such events. This overwhelming feeling of doom you feel may simply be in line with how humanity is meant to evolve. Perhaps there must be this frightening period of unprecedented decision making in order to achieve a better society. Maybe in a decade or so, when the first world is starting over and transitioning into a higher state, we will have the last laugh, knowing all along that this was how it was supposed to be. It's as good a coping method as any other. Let's just hope we survive until then. 

The Training Wheels of Democracy

Once again, the seemingly disastrous atmosphere of the election has come back to cause strife. Blazing through homes and causing yet another uproar of political turmoil, those who once thought themselves free of the pressures of national transition find instead a plot twist that has both hope and anger brimming in equal measure. What's happened now? What could possibly be more frustrating than the events of the past month? In answer, all eyes turn to an outdated institution and the millions of dollars donated to a sudden reanalysis.

The Electoral College. One asks another on the street what it is and it is likely that they will not fully know. It is something that has simply always been there. High school students, history majors and appreciators, and most politicians will know of its origins, but a common fellow will likely know merely of its function. A function that stretches the definition of democracy, pushing the United States into a Presidential Republic that thrives under the guise of democratic process. Why, if democracy was such a significant portion of the foundations of the country, is such an institution in place? What makes it necessary? The answer is a logical one. Logical for 18th Century America, that is.

The first decades of the nation were rocky to put it lightly. The first colony to overthrow the glorious British Empire, the first to form away from the dictatorial pulls of demanding  European institution. Democracy, the Founding Fathers cried, the power of Enlightenment thinkers boosting them forward, is the answer to the troubles the nation has suffered under the monarchical rule of the house of Hanover. Everything will be well and good now that the public can vote for leaders, it would be simple.

But wait! What about the uneducated? The lack of communication? How will an effective leader be chosen if only a few will have the capabilities of choosing one?

What about slave owners and the dramatic population imbalance between northern and southern states?

There forms the basis of what now is such a standard that no one feels the need to question it. It is an appeasement to a population that existed more than a century ago. Pleasing southern populations and ensuring that the public would not select a leader without proper knowledge, the wise, all-knowing Founders established the Electoral College. Surely, with representatives proportionate to state populations, with the benefits of the three-fifths compromise thrown in to satisfy the demands of slave owners, the public will not have the capability to elect someone without proper credentials nor will there be uproar over supposed demographic bias.

The College did, in fact, satisfy the needs of the South and put at ease the mind of paranoid intellectuals. Until the end of slavery, the three-fifths compromise allowed a more equal balance between northern and southern interests, and while the public obviously got a say, voting itself was not a very popular action throughout the newborn states, as its importance was not quite as stressed. Not to mention the fact that many did not have the right to vote, as they did not own land, were enslaved, or were of the female gender. The times of universal manhood suffrage were not yet in existence and there were less citizens able to vote than there were those who could not. Based on this, a system that allows equality in voting seems logical, almost necessary. The late 1700s and 1800s were in need of such an assurance of democratic process.

However, jumping ahead to the 21st Century, with widespread communication, education, and the atrocious institution of American slavery existing only in textbooks, is the Electoral College really still necessary? No longer is there a grievance due to the existence of slaves making up the majority of the southern population, and compulsory school attendance has been implemented for decades. Suffrage has been extended to all persons over the age of eighteen and voting turnout is drastically higher than in the election of 1804. Why then, is there still this process that seems almost redundant and unnecessary. Are the citizens of the United States really so inept as to need an entire official voting body to make the official presidential decision? Mind, there is no specific strict law inflicting punishment for those electors who simply do not follow the desires of the public and vote as they please.

Without the Electoral College, the population issue would not be as significant. More people live in the cities, more votes will come from there. Less people live in the rural areas, their interests will be represented as such. The Electoral College is merely a proportion of the same numbers. Its existence now seems tedious. Education and communication are available, there is now an endlessly growing number of intellectually inclined who belief, just as the Founding Fathers, that they have a good grip on what society may need. They would most certainly be miffed at the idea of someone else taking and forming their decision after they took the effort to become so informed.

Simply put, the Electoral College was a beneficial institution of the past, providing a balance to a seemingly chaotic newborn nation. However, that newborn nation has grown and evolved, becoming more self aware (perhaps not entirely so, it would seem) and allowing general equal opportunity. It seems to be high time to take these training wheels off and let Americans practice the true principles of electoral democracy that had once been so desperately fought for. Perhaps then, will the chaos and ulcer-inducing pressures of election season be slightly easier to bear.

A Show of Dinnertime Antics

There is one obstacle of every holiday, birthday, reunion, get together, or other significant even that everyone tends to revolve around. Either to avoid or actively prepare for, this component is so essential that it would seem as if the universe itself was working towards its perfect or disastrous outcome. There is no way around it, this looming barrier that has the power to drastically alter an evening. It is stress inducing. It is heart warming. It is the ever trying yet usually fulfilling occasion of family dinner. 

It's as if Queen Elizabeth II and President Barack Obama themselves are coming to the table with the amount of perfectionism that fills the air. Hours are devoted to appetizers, the main course, and a tray of desserts. Who sits where? Who likes what dish best? least? To have a meal go off without a hitch is the desired, almost demanded outcome for those who still crave the intimacy of the half hour in which this eating takes place. A fading staple of society, as many say, that must be protected before the future generations forget what it means to eat together entirely. 

Of course, with the rush to familial dining, there are the accompanying dramatics that create the underlying tension that many face on achieving such an event. Using the upcoming holiday of Thanksgiving for example, there seems to be an endless list of issues that create arguments between cook and guest, mother and daughter, or brother and sister. Currently, an argument sparks over the idea of a friend coming to dinner that is supposedly meant for family. Tomorrow, another will begin about not buying enough food and the proper amounts one should eat when attending another's feast. Come Thursday, the passive aggressive comments will be in full effect and the peace will be maintained on treacherously thin ice. Heaven forbid anyone who should bring up the election.

Dinner isn't all bad, though. There is the rare moment of coming together and the idea of good food to entice those of us who enjoy a proper meal. New achievements will be discussed, a sense of familial pride will blossom eventually, spreading out from under the piles of pettiness that have caused any preexisting tension. It may take til the last person has finished their dessert, but there will be a moment in which every guest is properly satisfied and content to move into gentler, more affectionate discussion. Nostalgia, warmth, and a unique camaraderie takes over from the pre-dinner nerves, irritation, and drama. 

It's comical, this idea of so many people being so worked up simply for the satisfaction of a meal well prepared that will be gone in a few minutes time. How odd it is to consider that so many devote hours upon hours for a brief moment of calm in the rushing, endless ways of modern society. It is, perhaps, one of the few things that show the emotional component of humanity that is often lost in the drive for success we all find ourselves caught up in. 

Whatever it is perceived as, family dinner will always be an anomaly of heightened feeling. An event that is both momentous and simple. A landmark of the foundation of kinship that has been carefully preserved by generations. A show full of dramatics that leaves one on the edge of their seat, anxiously waiting for the next argument to break out or the next unforgettable memory to be created. 

The Complexities of Truth

As Oscar Wilde once satirically stated, "the truth is rarely pure and never simple." Often there are contexts with layers upon layers burying what is true beneath piles of lies and muddled mixes between truths and falsehoods, preventing a simple clear answer from coming about on essentially anything.

Wilde's play, The Importance of Being Earnest, puts this statement into perspective in a comical way, showing the consequences of fiddling with the boundaries of truth and crossing the line into the realm of falsity. The misadventures of English gentlemen Algernon Moncrieff  and Jack Worthing are Wilde's way of presenting this fact to a reader, with the abstract concept of "bunburying" representing the act of bending truths to receive a more preferred outcome for a specific person. In this case, Algernon bends the truth to give himself a sort of entertainment, much to Jack's chagrin.

The play is just one simple example of this concept of bending the truth and muddling the line between lies and honesty. The work ends simply, with the trickery conceived by Algernon being resolved and all parties being generally satisfied, keeping up a comical tone and basic plot line. In reality, there is not often such a smooth resolution. The consequences of the convolution the truth have much greater repercussions than a simple mishap in marriage proposal. Once the truth is no longer clear, then pure intents are missed, and tension is created due to the contamination caused by falsehood.

This concept, while stunting for a progressive society, is, unfortunately, a staple of how many live their lives. How many people do you know willingly and openly state a simple truth? The world revolves around the game of self preservation and the most popular cheat is the benefit of dishonesty that thrives under the ruse of candor. Why would anyone risk being honest when their reputations, entertainment, and success could be at stake? If the rest of the world is dwelling in a world of falsity, then what benefit is there to being in the minority of those who rise above and state the truth and nothing but the truth?

Perhaps one should consider the rarity of having the trait of true candor. It would definitely create a distinction from many of their peers. But this road, like many of the purer variety, would be immensely more difficult to thrive on. Perhaps, for the more cynical variety of people, one should simply manipulate the system even more so than it is being controlled already. Is there a way to state the truth in a way that appears complex but is in reality comically simple? Realistically, there are few "pure and simple" scenarios in which one could go about living honest or dishonest lives, as each attempt at either result in discussions such as this: complex and somewhat confusing.

To change society into a world of truth would, regrettably, require even more convolution to resolve the numerous entanglements most people find themselves in. The energy needed to achieve this would be infinite. To create an entire new frame of thinking is to unhinge centuries of deception, foolery, and self preservation, and would definitely fail to sit well with those who have worked to achieve their definition of greatness. That leaves the equally unsettling reality of living in a world of complex truth. If society's way of thinking can't change, then how can one adjust their lifestyle to achieve some sort of true honesty? Can one truly succeed and be satisfied with themselves by simply going along with the twisted ways instilled by generations of pretense or are the consequences too great? Can society truly succeed at being great if this false truth exists? Perhaps consider consulting Oscar Wilde for his opinion, it, at least, seems honest enough to provide clear insight.

Conrad and Darkness: Themes of a Masterpiece Novel

There is a specific class of literature that accomplishes both complexity and brevity in a way that provokes deep thinking without slipping into the abyss of senselessness. These pieces compact layers upon layers of perspectives, thoughts, actions, and emotions until there is not one but several themes that a reader can ponder or even create for themselves. 

Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness is approximate 70 pages filled to the brim with harsh commentary on the dangerous travels of old seaman Marlowe down the Congo River at the height of the age of Imperialism. Every page presents lines on the state of specific characters who represent states of human society, creating one large picture of the consequences and perspectives that society has as a result of various group's actions. The symbols and motifs throughout the novel itself offer dramatic insight in a dark yet snarky way that show Conrad's thoughts and ideas about the state of humanity as a whole.

One of these such symbols is ivory and the white traders that are stationed along the river. With the most significant of these persons being one Mr. Kurtz, the central focus of Marlowe's travel downstream, the idea of more ivory equaling more power and success directly reflects those who hunger for money and power in any society. The upper elite continuously battle for larger income, expansive territory or business, and widespread reputation, a parallel that Conrad portrays with Kurtz's success and other businessmen, like the manager's thirst to become bigger, better, and more efficient. Throughout the novel, the thirst for ivory and the continual obsession to obtain it captures the minds of many, as Marlowe observes, and creates a sense of tension that persists through til the end of his travels. 

This symbolism connects to a larger idea Conrad portrays throughout the work: the idea of darkness representing the unequal and violent state of society. Through Marlowe's recount of his experience, the idea of darkness is constant, with not only the people but also the surroundings being described as dark or monstrous. This is yet another, larger parallel by Conrad, connecting these descriptions with the state of the world at the time, with heavy negativity and inequality a large part of common life. At the end of the novel, outside of Marlowe's story, the narrator ends the work with their current ship sailing off into the darkness, drawing the idea full circle. Not only did the darkness exist in Marlowe's story, it continues to prevail in the present, with the elite still violently oppressing the common people, and greed, lust for power, and violent ambition dominating the actions of many. This ending leaves the reader to think not only on the events of Conrad's novel but also the state of their society, here in the 21st Century. 

The novel leaves endless questions and possibilities open for hours upon hours of discussion. What was the true meaning? Was Marlowe's story real? Was Marlowe or the narrator himself even reliable? There seems to be no correct answer, just the continual repetition of the effects of darkness, both literally and figuratively. 

Before the Flood: A Discussion of Climate Change

After a long wait, National Geographic has finally premiered what is hoped to be a groundbreaking documentary headed by the acclaimed Leonardo DiCaprio. More than a simple narration of marine life or evolution, this film is a striking portrait of reality, a slap in the face if you will, to the potentialities of a bleak future, of the affect a fast paced, high energy consuming society has on the basic environment that granted us humans with the perfect conditions to evolve and thrive. This documentary, Before the Flood, is an hour and forty six minutes of climate change and the harsh consequences we face. It is a desperate plea to raise awareness, a call to action.

Bravely and boldly, the film takes on one of the most challenging foes to ever face mankind. The stubbornness to accept reality and change age old ways. It is widely known by now, after years of environmental activism, that there are still far too many who refuse to believe that climate change exists, or that the earth is facing a dire future full of rising sea levels and arid landscapes as well as a dehydration of necessary resources to keep this highly mechanized world functioning. This attempt at refute even makes its way to the presidential stage, with candidates filling several minutes of debate with statements on how renewable energy takes away from the prosperity of institutions like business. Little do they realize, business will not exist if there is no environment healthy enough for businessmen to make their transactions.

DiCaprio, known for his environmentalism, firmly presses the urgency of which this acceptance of reality must occur. Filled to the brim with scientific evidence, interviews from all perspectives of the issue, and social patterns leading up to this circumstance, Before the Flood is meant to be the ultimate persuasion, appealing to the scientifically inclined and the social/entertainment enthusiasts alike. The film presses the imperative need for a solution, crying out over and over that the earth is rapidly changing, and we as a species are not strong enough to withstand such dramatic alteration.

The reality is frightening, and rightfully so. It's definitely not a bright and sunny future that we face. However, while scare tactics are indeed effective (just take a look at the election), solutions also work to draw people to the issue. With a solution, there is less hopelessness, and more people feel able to contribute to healthy change. The film achieves both of these aspects, jarring us into the harsh world in store for us, while also continually repeating that the window for salvation has not passed.

We can still fix this, we must simply become more aware. 

After viewing this unique and exceptionally serious piece on what many consider to be the most important issue the world faces, it is difficult not to think about the impact humanity's actions have on earth. Climate change and the environment may always be in the back of one's mind, but through this bold statement and calling out of the ignorance of society, it is yanked violently to the forefront of daily thought. For it is obvious to those who are inclined to the realities of their surroundings that this issue is not merely going to work itself out like so many others of the past. The clock is ticking and when time runs out, there will be no chance to remedy our self inflicted undoing. The coral reefs are already dying, there have not been this high a rate of species extinction since the great Cretaceous-Tertiary event 65 million years ago, storms are more violent before. The evidence is all around, and this documentary summarized it neatly into an understandable and, dare I say, entertaining platform for everyone to analyze. Once again, National Geographic takes the time to draw every point of an argument and prove it right or wrong in an attempt to raise awareness to reality.

Still not convinced? Go watch the film.

A Tangent on Tangents

After the past few weeks of dredging through Austen's Pride and Prejudice, it was high time for a momentary pause and a turn towards a more entertaining, yet excessively drawn out work, Hugo's Les Miserables. It's no secret that this particular novel is a long time favorite, and any time there is an opportunity to delve back into the pages, I will do so with nothing short of endless excitement.

While Pride and Prejudice is much shorter than Hugo's twenty year endeavor, affectionately called the Brick, it is much more blase, with one main idea surrounding one main story line, while Hugo's novel consists of several main ideas surrounding numerous story lines. True, the unabridged version of Les Miserables fills over 1000 pages, there are never filler pages or a dull moment. It is blatantly apparent that Hugo took every single detail into account, almost in excess. It is so full of minor tidbits or descriptive thoughts and imagery that the near thirty to fifty pages of protagonist Jean Valjean simply walking through French country side without definite purpose has an abundance more of thoughts and rising action than the majority of the first half of Austen's own masterpiece novel. 

Hugo ensured that his work was filled to the brim with every aspect imaginable to create an impressive representation of France during the turbulent early 1800s. While this detail creates a work that is rarely repetitive or dull, Victor Hugo also has a tendency to veer off into tangents that are rather irrelevant to the plot. This is a primary factor as to why the abridged version of the Brick exists, as not many find the idea of 150 pages dedicated to one fraction of a detail particularly pleasing. To me, however, these tangents are almost comical and provide an insight to the mind and writing process of one of the most renown French novelists of his time.

Each tangent is essentially an entire essay or thesis on a topic that is rather irrelevant to Jean Valjean's journey towards redemption. One of the most prominent examples is the over 100 page side note about the Battle of Waterloo, with a well rounded, extraordinarily well thought out analysis on the French tactic compared to that of the British, Belgian, and German alliance, along with what makes a victor and what makes a loser. All of this leads up to a single line at the conclusion, depicting how one minor character happened to be present for a brief moment near the battle field. The fact that Hugo took the time an effort to write over 10 chapters on something so minuscule reflects the dedication with which he approached penning this work. The man left nothing out, not even the slightest detail, and he becomes so wrapped up in each point that he creates these extra sections of irrelevance that could be formed into their own separate pamphlets. 

Waterloo is only one example of Hugo's notorious tendencies to become sidetracked. The book is home to another hundred pages dedicated to an elaborate description of Paris sewer systems, as well as a history of specific church denominations and their practices. In these hundreds of pages, there are few lines that are actually relevant to the plot overall. Les Miserables is so full of different bits of information that it is hardly a wonder that so many fear to take the plunge or have difficulty in completing or understanding the work. Despite all this, it is entertaining to see the process of Hugo's writing during the twenty years he worked on it. His eagerness to show the significance of different topics, however unrelated they may be, shows his determination to describe a well rounded picture of his country in all respects. His dedication paid off in the form of a read that is as unique as it is comical for the literary enthusiasts, or as excruciating as it is depressing for those who are not as literature based. 

Thoughts on the Ultimate American Fantasy: New York City

It is the city of hopes and dreams. The place to be. The Big Apple. The greatest city in the world.
It is idolized in all places near and far, a shining light that acts as a symbol for American triumph. It is the place imagined by every person who wants to be in the center of the action, ready for their big moment. A symbol of opportunity. It is a relic, persisting through time to be an illusion of the glory days of old. It is New York City.

 Anything and everything is in the crowded Burroughs, from the bright white lights of Broadway to small shops and restaurants on lesser known side streets, and to the green expanses of Central Park. There are prestigious colleges, world governing centers, and business after business. World landmarks, from the Statue of Liberty, to Ground Zero, and the Empire State Building, all call New York their home, as do the millions of people crammed into the endless row of apartment buildings, all wanting a taste of the action in the most significant center of the world.

 NYC stands alone as an image of regal beauty, with the glory of the old industrial era, the fierce stock market, and booming business. The city is glorious, with tall illuminated towers, a skyline that is one of the most recognizable to anyone who happens to see it in person, on a postcard, or on a screen. It is the perfect example of what a bustling city should be, and is the basis for any stereotype of modern America.

New York City is more than just a large commercial, social, and governmental center. It is an illusion. It is success. NYC represents the big break. When one wants to take a chance, they go to downtown Manhattan. When the dream is to be a star on the stage, or even on the screen, they turn to Greenwich Village. When one wanted to escape their poor circumstances, they did so through Ellis Island. The idea of such a place, where opportunity is said to be around every corner, has transformed a once simply large metropolis into a fantasy land, one that is dreamed about in young minds all over the world.

The city fuels the story line for books, plays, musicals, and movies. It connects modern pieces such as the smash hit Hamilton to the epics of the early 20th Century such as The Great Gatsby. It is the first thing that anyone thinks of when asked to picture America, American standards, or even just an American city in general.

Of all the symbols America has to offer, NYC is perhaps one of the most significant in terms of showing the realities of the nation. It has a bit of everything that makes up American character, the positives and the negatives alike. It has more diversity than any other major metropolis, with the rich immigrant history continuously influencing every aspect of daily life. There is always something for everyone.

Without the city, the culture of a widely diverse nation would have no center point. With a place for each art form, religion, or political view, NYC combines every important attribute into one large exhibit. Essential to the portrayal of not only American history, but American values and people, New York City continues to be one of the most important sites in the nation. With its permanent image of old elegance and symbolism of opportunity for those down on their luck, New York is truly the place where one can begin anew, whether it be in the arts, business, or simply in terms of personal morals.

Rambles From the Underwhelmed, Unimpressed, and Uncomfortable

You have to read this! This is a staple! How could you not have read this before? It's excellent!

Common phrases often heard in literary establishments such as classrooms, book clubs, or libraries, the expectation of a book's magnificence is often what propels us fans of writing to fill notebooks with scribbles of "to read next" and "have read"  that act as grocery lists for our weekly stop at the supermarket of intellectual stimulation. Picking up new reads, hot sales, or necessities of life, the readers of the world gain energy and keep the mind sharp through and endless cycle of literature, new and old alike. And just as one would buy milk, eggs, and bread at the market, there are certain pieces, classics, that become standard for every book lover to peruse at least once. 

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen is one of these such standards. A classic, a masterpiece, a staple of literature. The novel is considered by many to be an elegant and eye opening portrayal of the past. With its own culture surrounding it, Pride and Prejudice is a trademark not only for high school reading requirements, but also for a supposedly thrilling plot line, with romantic whirlwind and a long list of movie versions that keep anyone entertained on a quiet evening. With this hyped up image in mind, it is only logical that my expectations were high upon finally picking up the novel myself. 

At first, the novel was just as exciting as any classic I delve into. A perspective of life in the past and the unique writing style of the time is always thrilling and entertaining, drawing me continuously in to the plot and theme, genuinely excited to know what comes next. The first hundred pages or so of Austen's work had me hooked. Who is this Mr. Darcy? What are his intentions? The irony of the character's actions, opinions, and thoughts, were immensely humorous to me, and I was overwhelmingly curious to know how the novel would play out. 

However, 285 pages in, it soon became apparent that the plot over all is rather flat. There is not much differentiation than the events that once drew me in. Being well versed in the movie depictions and the many cultural parodies of the work, I assumed I would know how the novel would play out, and be at least relatively entertained. Unfortunately, this is not the case. With a hundred pages left to go, I find myself dragging. The pace is somewhat agonizing, with the same basic descriptions of events happening repeatedly with only slight variation. Is this merely Austen's attempt at accurately portraying life of the time? Or is it simply that I have lost the patience for a slow paced work? Regardless, one of literature's greater staples, which has been revered by many for decades, has failed to hit me as particularly impressive or outstanding.

Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet's relationship is entertaining, yes, and the theme Austen presents is excellent and relevant to social climate. Nevertheless, the continual discussion of marriage proposals gets old after a third of the novel is dedicated to it. And while I would love to simply abandon the book for another time, and pick up on where I left off in the ever enthralling world of Dickens or Hugo, I find that I cannot allow myself to leave the novel unfinished. Perhaps it is my streak of perfectionism, or the hope that the last hundred pages will offer a redeeming quality that snatches hold of my interest. Regardless of the reason, Pride and Prejudice will continue to drag at the pace of a snail, and I will continue to be underwhelmed by one of the literary community's favorites.

Ambiguity and Arsenic

Ambiguity in writing is always a plus, especially when the openness of a passage evokes deep discussion and creates exhilarating revelations in a reader. The passages that spark long discussions as one walks to class, or heated debated over what is or what isn't that fills each free moment. It is deeply satisfying to find a story that is presented with a spectacularly vague writing style that still allows for an understanding of intended themes and basic plot while also appearing as unique and thought provoking.

William Faulkner's "A Rose For Emily" is one of these such stories. Told from the brilliant perspective of an outsider, the life of one Miss Emily is speculated on, specifically leading up to the events of her death. The lack of fact, thoughts, or feelings from the character in question allows for the reader to make their own decisions regarding the events surrounding the years of Emily's life. Her biography is told in snippets, giving brief glances from a limited outside perspective. What actually happens versus what is suspected creates a unique set up of the plot, connecting to both the deeper meaning of Faulkner's writing and the actual events themselves.

The prime example of this occurs when the narrator recounts Miss Emily's acquisition of arsenic. She is described as being firm in her desires, asking a druggist for strong poison, then refusing to state what her use would be for. Because of the traditionally set respect the town seems to have for her, the druggist allows her to purchase said poison. It is only after this that it is discovered that her once lover Homer Barron is never seen to leave her secluded home again.

It is never directly stated what the arsenic is used for, which leaves the reasoning open to debate. Homer Barron is discovered to be long dead at the end of the story, yes, but it is never confirmed how he died or what role Miss Emily may have played in it. Faulkner does however, deliberately mention the arsenic purchase before the death is even revealed, perhaps throwing the reader a breadcrumb.

Despite inferences the reader can readily make, Faulkner leaves this part of the story ambiguous. There is no inside perspective to tell what really happened, there is only the outside view. This can lead to many different interpretations of Miss Emily and the plot itself. Did she kill Homer Barron? If so, why? If she didn't use the arsenic to kill him, what else could it have been for? There is technically no right or wrong answer, which makes discussion particularly unique.

This is just one example of the lovely ambiguous style Faulkner embodies. He is able to make the reader go deeper, and work for the answers they desire instead of simply giving them. In short, he isn't boring. Specifically in "A Rose For Emily," Faulkner leaves loose ends to keep the interest, even after one has read through the passage several times. In this, he accomplishes the sought after goal of many authors in all time periods, he makes a reader think.

The Antics of the Painfully Obtuse: A Look Into One Mr. Collins

It is common in every great novel to have one character that exemplifies the ever entertaining characteristics of an imbecile. Whether through direct actions that are deemed ridiculous or through ignorant thinking, the antics of said personalities are often the basis of satire or particular themes. These characters are seen making poor decisions, acting without thought, or living in a world of entitlement which does nothing but hurt their already sad image. There is always one of these absurd simpletons that help to move a theme or point into light, and their story frequently offers hilarious moments that can be a comedic relief in an otherwise serious or neutral reading.

In Pride and Prejudice, Mr. Collins is a prime example of a novel's great fool. Austen portrays clergyman William Collins as one who believes himself to be immune from wrong or rejection. From loud bold speeches at awkward times to an overconfident marriage proposal to Elizabeth Bennet, Collins is prone to nothing but presenting himself as an overconfident, egotistical man who feels (and, unfortunately, is) entitled to what is coming to him. Not only is this a use of the common fool in literature, but it also is a portrait of social themes at the time, especially in regards to gender relations, and the power of men.

Austen reveals upon the introduction of Collins into the plot that he is the lucky soul to inherit the Bennet lands and holdings after the eventual death of Mr. Bennet. His visit to the estate allows him to continuously mention that the home would one day be his, and that he was supposedly honored to be the one to receive it. Not only is this the unattractive trait of entitlement, but it is also a realistic view into the realities of social law. Because the Bennets have only daughters, there is no acceptable way for the home to stay in the Bennet name, and instead falls to Collins. It is obvious that Collins lacks the intellectual security to adequately inherit a significant estate such as the one in question, but because of expectation of the times, it must be so. Austen uses this seemingly ridiculous reality to showcase the inequality of the times in a way that is both comical and comprehensible for the reader.

Mr. Collins is a common example of satire used to portray gender inequality in literature. Austen presents him as a fool who makes humorous shows of himself while simultaneously sending and important message of reality. She asks the question: why does society dictate that an imbecile such as Collins should automatically receive land that would belong to the Bennet daughters? She highlights the apparent sexism and inequality through this character, showing its absurdity through the actions of the clergyman. Collins is one of the most apparent and brilliant satires in Austen's work, and is one of the most significant symbols used to portray social expectation and sexism alike.

A Pleasant Surprise in a Once Back Burner Novel

Throughout the years in which reading has been a key source of entertainment and comfort, I have managed to cover a rather wide range of genres. From classic Dickens or Hugo to modern Patterson and Rowling, I like to think I have covered a rather significant range of novels over my seventeen years. Despite this budding repertoire I have built, there is one novel that has always been put on the back burner when determining what book to read next. Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. Often a landmark of high school English classes and literature as a whole, I was very familiar with the novel through both conversation, film, and plays alike. I had watched and read everything save the actual book itself.

After coming off the high of reading Dickens' ever moving Tale of Two Cities for the third time, it was time to read something new. Something that I could cross off the list of books that I've been waiting to read. What better time to take up Austen's classic than now?

Coming into the novel, I was aware of the plot, and was under the impression that I would find Austen's writing entertaining enough, but nothing that would keep me particularly on the edge of my seat. With respect to the significance of the novel, I was prepared to read a straight forward classic that fit all the traditional characteristics of the genre. Pleasantly, I found that in the first fifty pages, not only had Austen managed to keep my attention, but also excite me into further pondering the meaning of her writings.

Pride and Prejudice captures the refined and elegant period of the 18th and 19th Centuries, while showing the high expectations of nobility, particularly in women. She shows the desire for being viewed as proper in households through the gossip between ladies of prominent families and the emphasis on romantic prospects with the relations between the Bennet daughters and gentlemen Darcy and Bingley. While painting this portrait of life and expectation, Austen also captures the irony of showing disdain for having pride, while many characters themselves are quite caught up in the trait, giving words to an age old act.

The novel was surprising in how quickly this idea was portrayed, and amusing with how true it is, even in modern society. We often claim to detest pride or judgement of others, but find ourselves taking part in doing so. It has been a timeless theme in human civilization, and is been captured in the first fifty pages of Austen's book alone. These first ten chapters only begin to scratch the surface of what transforms into one of Austen's greatest and most renown works, and this idea of both widespread pride and prejudice is just beginning to be expanded on in full depth.  Going forth, I am eager to see this theme expand and come full circle, putting words to this social observation that has existed for centuries, and has always been a source of contemplation when pondering the state of society both today and in the past.

Voltaire to Dickens: A Sharp Turn on the Spectrum of Style

Moving directly into a new piece of literature from an old always comes with a brief transitional period. No two authors write in the same manner, and there is the settling in to the new rhythm that appears on each page. There is perhaps no greater example of this than the sharp change from Voltaire's short and snarky Candide to Dickens' long and emotional A Tale of Two Cities. 

Both are long time favorites of mine, and when the opportunity arose to read from a wide selection of literature, I was more than eager to revisit them and see what new details I could find. The two pieces are both powerful in portraying their messages, but upon finishing Voltaire's critically acclaimed novella, directly transitioning into Dickens' drawn out and descriptive prose proved to have a longer adjustment than expected. Where Voltaire is sharp and to the point, Dickens takes the longer route, ensuring that every detail is perfectly in place. Voltaire is fast paced and surface level with description and development, while Dickens is slow, drawing out the plot and pulling the reader in to the turbulent world of late 18th Century Europe.  Both offer commentary on society, but they are stark opposites in both specific opinion and approach.

The change is almost comical. The authors both have their share of unique touches, giving their works the charm required to stand the test of time in a community of the pickiest critics in the world. But where Candide wraps up in just 150 pages, A Tale of Two Cities requires more than double the length, and the atmosphere around the works themselves go from light and satirical to heavier with a large pull at the heartstrings. The list of differences between the works and their author's styles could go on endlessly, with opposite approaches at every corner, showing the poles of the style spectrum.

Being familiar with both pieces of literature, the significant difference was expected, at least to some degree. I was prepared to take on Dickens and his portrait of the era, coming off on a high after the always entertaining misadventures of Voltaire's painfully optimistic protagonist. The opening lines never fail to draw me in, with the details of the once glorious age of change described beautifully on the page. However, as the first few chapters go on, I found that I had more difficulty picking up on specific moments than I had when reading it previously, and that the pace dragged this time around, when I was once enthralled by every word. Looking back on the style of Candide, it is logical to expect this slight need for adjustment, with the first major catastrophe occurring before page twenty. It is interesting to me to ponder the reactions of one new to both works, who transitioned so quickly from one to the other. Would there be more difficulty in understanding the world of Dickens? How could the style of one author change how we look at other literature? Perhaps we should test and find out.

A Letter to The Drink to Beat All Drinks

An open letter to the most elegant and inspiring of popular beverages, the magnificent warm cup of tea,

Your effect is overwhelming, awakening each of the senses as your rich flavor sends satisfied pleasure throughout a tired body. From the heavenly aroma with which you announce your kingly presence, to the inviting warmth that emits from the steaming mug you are presented in, everything about you is beautifully fulfilling for any of us who slave away at work, school, or other type of responsibility.

The noble history that follows you provides the utmost respect in the world of refreshment, for you are among the small, honorable group of drinks enjoyed by both monarchs and holy prophets alike. The legacy you are associated with is in a field of its own, with entire conflicts being built over the atrocity of wasting even a pound of the gift you bestow on this rapidly advancing world.

No other beverage can compare to your ability to relieve the stress of another tedious day, preventing the dark clutches of migraines, sore throats, and tight muscles from pulling us mortals down into the abyss of irritation and exhaustion. You will away seasonal colds and infections, and calm the always running, always worrying thought processes of crippling anxiety. The world slows to a soothing lull, and answers to problems present themselves after you have done your miraculous work at maintaining serene order among the chaos of society.

Without you to lend a hand, those of us swamped with assignments, exams, applications, and all other types of looming deadlines would never survive at a functioning level. You are the answer when there is no coffee, or too much has been consumed. You are the perfect alternative when pop begins to taste like sticky sugar paste, making teeth tingle and tongues heavy. You calm the nerves, and open the doorway for confidence, efficiency, and success. High grades, acceptance letters, and approved proposals all owe their existence to you and your never ending aid to those addicted to perfectionism.

You will forever be one of the most important drinks to grace human civilization. From the early societies of Asia, to the powerful and extravagant kings and queens of European empires, you are the connecting element, bringing worlds together to celebrate you and your exquisiteness.

Words cannot describe the profound impact you have caused on us, your loyal subjects. You are the end to a rough day and the jump start to an early morning. You are the physician, psychologist, and faithful companion. What you give to us is more valuable than coffee, pop, or other caffeinated supplements. Your group of lovers celebrate your wide variety of forms and flexibility, forever grateful that you fit all aspects and lifestyles. Your dedication to us has secured a permanent place in our hearts, continuously reminding us of the bountiful benefits you offer.

We hope to always have the opportunity to cherish your gifts, and will continue to worship you as one of the best of drinks the world has to offer.

Affectionately,
Your devoted tea appreciators

Ode to the Negativity of Spring

Painful. Spring is painful. 

Spring is three long months of allergies and sinus pressure with bipolar weather patterns and grueling finals. It is the final obstacle in the way of summer vacation, and the time of making difficult decisions about the all too quickly approaching future. 

The start of the season also starts the cycle of medication to prevent the constant headaches, stuffy noses, and sore throats that plague most miserable victims of poor immune systems. Rain brings sinus infections, and sun brings blooms that are only out to cause harm, an endless cycle of frustration.

With spring comes responsibility. All of the hours spent studying throughout a depressing autumn and a bitter winter begin to mean something as spring arrives with the expectation to combine all the useful knowledge gained and put it to use. Exams and projects pile up at an alarming rate until there isn't time to breathe or possibly enjoy the spread of colors after the drabness of the start of the year.

If it's not school work then it is the demands of the holiday season, with Lent and Easter and the demands of grandparents who feel that it is of the utmost importance to make a good impression. While the dinners and gatherings of church members are entertaining every once and awhile, growing up with restrictions on what to eat on specific days is annoying for any adolescent.

Spring brings color and new life, but it also causes stress, pain, and irritation. Though it marks the end of subzero temperatures and ice storms, it also brings in a fresh round of stress that lasts until the schools finally relent at the start of summer. March, April, and May, while supposedly beautiful, all merely offer some sort of pain that only makes the last months of school harder. Until the twenty first of June, when it is officially the warmest of the seasons and the flowers have all bloomed to their full potential, will all the trials of spring relent and offer peace after months of difficulty.

The Expectation of Risk

Risk taking has always come with that exciting thrill that keeps the idea of danger entertaining in the eyes of those willing (or perhaps foolish) enough to partake. Whether it is from peer pressure or the need to prove one's worth, risk taking has quickly become an expectation for young adults, particularly males, adding to the ever growing lists of examples that prove how society is drowning in foolish arrogance.

In today's world, risks integrate themselves into all aspects of growing up. Being prone to taking a risk shows one's strength, courage, and worth to their peers, and is often what determines whether or not one is "cool" or in the selective circle of those considered better. Boys who recklessly push and kick at each other at recess, girls who delve into the volatile world of gossip by sharing secrets without thought of consequence, all in an attempt to make a mark, secure a position, or ensure that they will not be left behind in the savage world of grade school hierarchy.

Particularly in males, there is the mandatory need to assert one's dominance, usually through acts of violence or fantastic stunts that often involve some extreme physical motion that could very easily cause harm. It is an expectation in this society to be the best of the best, and to always push down those who dare to challenge the sacred order. Males have always had this desire to use risks to prove their worth and win the respect of their peers to show their betterment. Scuffles between young boys, or dangerous joyrides in cars full of drunk college students both have the common theme of using potentially threatening (in some way or form) situations to scare off any potential threats to the so called "natural order" of what most boys consider to be a friend group. The more risk one takes, the higher in the pack they are, a status which, at least to the stereotypical man, is more important than stopping to think of what could potentially happen if something were to go awry.

This inclination to take a thoughtless risk is not seen as frequently in women. While females tend to take risks in a more social form, by telling secrets, or following (or deviating from) a trend, there is not the overwhelming necessity to do something physically reckless to take control of a group. Generally, a female would rather form her own complex order system that is unchanging, determined solely by the basic traits or abilities of her fellow girls. There is not a frequent change in dominance in a female pack, and if there does happen to be one, it tends to be a large, dramatic spectacle that is talked about for days on end until the dirt settles for the next few months. The expectation to prove one's physical worth does not exist in the land of the female, showing yet another aspect of gender expectations in society.

These expectations are one of the sole reasons for heightened amounts of risk taking, especially in younger adults. It is imperative to assert a specific rank or niche in society, and what better way to accomplish this than by proving that you can drink one of your mates under the table? With the amount of competition in this world, the flashiest and most dangerous acts that are successfully pulled off gain the most attention and prestige. Without risk, there would be no surefire way to show how one person is better than another. Therefore, the idea of risk taking has settled comfortably in the mainstream social code until it is simply part of life, forever increasing the chances for stupid or more reckless acts all in the name of superiority.

Feel the Bern

When the fight for presidential nominations began, it definitely wasn't expected to have one of the most controversial men in the country leading the Republican polls. Out of all the middle-aged white politicians vying for the job, it is more than a little disappointing to see that the one who is notorious for petty insults being the most popular. The options on the Republican side seem to dwindle with each drop out, with the only true minorities on the political spectrum either gone or too far down in the polls to make a difference.

If the elections were to be held today, it would surely be a bloodbath between the endless supply of Republican candidates, which would leave an open way for the two Democrats to grab at victory. Because of the indecisiveness of the GOP, it seems logical to turn to someone who spends more time analyzing political issues than other candidates themselves. While labelled as a radical, it would seem that the only person to accomplish this in great detail would be the longest running Independent congressman, Bernie Sanders.

The Vermont Senator has managed to grab the attention of the young voters, and for good reason. With his social idealism, he has sparked hope in young adults for cheaper college, expanded civil rights, and a better health care system. While he is a self-proclaimed Socialist supporter, the idea of having someone other than the usual group of rich white Christians could be a refreshing change. Aside from the fact that he is the first Jewish person to ever run for this high an office, Sanders seems to have an outlook different from every other candidate running in this election.

His ideas are radical, and his plans would be expensive, but perhaps this is what the nation needs, even if it is only for one term. With the past few decades being full of nothing but bitter political fighting, it may be time for a dark horse candidate to take the spot light. Yes, it will be difficult for Sanders to successfully implement his plans for major economic and social change in a Republican-Dominated congress, but it would ensure that the entire Federal government wouldn't be dominated by one party.

Sanders continuously promotes the need for a political revolution in this country, and with the dramatic show the other candidates have been putting on for the past few months, he may be right. Change is essential to any growing super power, and perhaps he could bring about one that causes the next turning point in American history. Unafraid to call out the wage gap between both women and men and the rich and poor, Sanders could potentially be the answer to the upcoming generations demands for a change in society. If anything, at least he discusses the need for equality for longer than thirty seconds.

While he may not be the first choice, Bernie Sanders could be the best choice. His chances aren't particularly ideal, but he has very noticeably given the other Democrat, Secretary Clinton, a run for her money. If the next president was elected today, he would have the support of a people who want significant social change, not the usual run of the mill possibility of an improvement. While many may not see it, perhaps this social change is what America needs to, in the words of the ever overconfident Donald Trump, "be great again."

Of Art Galleries and Frogs

Nothing is more serene than the quiet class of an art gallery.

Soft French jazz flowing lazily throughout a small studio, the warm Hawaiian breeze gently pushing natural scents of native hibiscus and ohia in through open windows, and a calm, quiet ambiance, much like the feeling of the island itself, envelopes an ordinary looking building. Unlike the modern, sophisticated art galleries of New York or Paris, this shop is small and quaint, and one of many that line the coastal cliffs of the Big Island. Hues of yellow and powder blue on weather worn siding add an odd charm not commonly associated with the usual class of professional exhibits, but the complex glass work in the windows assures any skeptic that the artwork inside is just as beautiful.

It has become a tradition on these family vacations to find the hidden gems in small towns that offer a singular kind of souvenir. A long history of art enthusiasm creates a wide variety of taste between each family member, which leads to at least one day dedicated to walking from shop to shop, looking at pieces that are as simple and elegant as a self-portrait or as complex and edgy as a metal sculpture. Works from each vacation spot fill family homes, acting as constant reminders of breezy summer days and hours spent looking for unique trinkets in the nooks and crannies of world famous locations. This trip is no different, and after hours of looking through traditional Hawaiian galleries, this shop looks particularly promising.

An open door leads the way to polished wooden floors and cream walls filled with paintings and sculptures that are a colorful mix of traditional and modern style. A counter full of smaller trinkets, jewelry, and stationary is off to the side, offering entertainment for younger parties who are rather uninterested in analyzing large abstract portraits of Hawaiian Gods. Behind the counter sits a small old woman who offers a French greeting  before giving an overview of her unique collection, allowing us access to every small room and closet that holds any sort of piece.

Each new turn offers a different theme, from strikingly realistic paintings of wildlife to hanging mobiles of jade, but nothing catches our eyes. That is, until one room in the back finally exhibits a set of work that is distinctly set apart from the rest. Different from all of the work in previous rooms hangs a six piece set of small portraits in sleek black frames, all arranged in a specific story line. Showing several significant historical events, painted in very traditional style, are not humans, but frogs. Coming in all varieties, dressed in both traditional Hawaiian clothing and sophisticated English suits, and performing a variety of different functions from dancing to signing the Treaty of Versailles are a set of amphibians that have an element of brilliant satire that only the keenest of eyes can pick up on.

Both comical and intriguing, the set shoots to the top of the list of pieces to buy, winning everyone's approval, whether they understand the deeper meanings or not. Capturing both a distinct sense of dry humor and bits of Hawaiian culture all in one group, the paintings fit the bill of the long list of family requirements for buying any professional art. The pieces are surprisingly accepted without the normal negotiation and are wrapped in brightly colored paper, with a side of chocolates offered as another thank you from the store owner. The usual calm silence of the gallery is broken for a momentary exclamation of joy from the woman, pleased that her work is appreciated enough to be bought so eagerly. With all the kindness and hospitality that the people on the Big Island embrace, she offers refreshments and information about other hidden treasures that Hawaii has to offer. Her brightness leaves us feeling lighter and rejuvenated, a refreshing change from most other vacation spots. Gliding along on a cloud of her positive energy, we step out into the sunshine, continuing on our way towards the next discovery, with our latest masterpiece in hand.

A Special Kind of Doctor

The waiting room is peaceful, with light blue walls and coloring pages of farm animals. Children stick close to their parents, quietly asking questions or fidgeting in their seats, most being inclined to experience some type of anxious thoughts. The staff is kind and talk in soft tones, always with a smile. Strangely, there are no signs hanging up about washing hands or eating fruits and vegetables, but rather posters depicting happiness or sharing feelings. This is a special kind of doctor, dedicated just to talking.

With a predisposition to significant difficulty in social situations, it became necessary to explore this option. Through extensive convincing and a bit of deception, due to a strong distaste for doctors (regular or special), mom successfully brought me to what is most definitely certain death. She is somehow calm, grading her math tests efficiently, paying no mind to what she likes to call being over dramatic. Obviously, she has never experienced something as terrible as this.

Images of shots, bad medicine, and evil men in lab coats fill the mind, causing nervous anticipation to swell until there is the soft, constant tap of my light up sneakers. Are these other children going to their deaths as well? One by one, their names are called, and they disappear through a large brown door, perhaps never to be seen again. The list of other patients grows shorter and shorter, and the room is almost completely empty when a tall woman opens the door and calls the only name that matters.

Unlike the other children, who go alone with whoever fetches them, mom follows the woman with me, and soon we are in front of what looks like an office rather than the rooms at the pediatrician's. Inside there are several couches, all of which look surprisingly soft and comfortable, along with a shelf full of board games and large leather books with long extensive titles. The woman gives her name, which is too complicated to remember (I am busy preparing for whatever horrors are in store), and offers the smallest of the couches as a place to sit. She and mom then begin a conversation, discussing the reasoning for the visit, her voice smooth and nothing like the evil witch I had imagined. Instead, soft laughter and bright commentary fill the room, creating a strangely comforting atmosphere, which, despite my stubborn resistance, has a quick relaxing effect on my nerves.

This visit is short, an introduction to what could be an effective plan for therapy. The doctor asks questions that are easy enough for me to understand, offering smiles whenever there is reason to second guess the safety of the
situation. There will be no shots today. The session feels more like a friendly conversation with a teacher than a formal examination, and miraculously, isn't accompanied by the overwhelming desire to leave. She even offers one of the waiting room coloring pages as entertainment while she and mom turn the talks towards insurance.

Never before had I been so content in the presence of a doctor. Coloring in the lines of my horse picture, I feel almost entertained. When the conversation is finished, she offers another shockingly bright smile and offers to walk to the front, towards a different door, designated specifically for leaving. For the first time in all my eight years, I did not feel sick at the thought of coming back for another appointment. If every visit involved coloring pages and soft couches, then perhaps it wasn't so scary after all.

A Different Kind of Show

There is nothing more exhilarating than the final swell of voices at the height of a show stopping number.

Each phrase sweeping up the audience in agony, joy, or anger, the buzz of a theater both uplifting and fulfilling. The rejuvenation that comes with seeing a complex dance sequence more satisfying than any of the stunts in TV shows or movies. My childhood consists of hours upon hours of these productions, Broadway's best and brightest giving a private performance whenever the DVD was inserted into the player. While other kids brag about their Disney collections, my pride swells at the mention of the wide variety of musicals that Dad bought every so often.

Broadway's presence is everywhere in our home. The familiarity of show tunes fill empty car rides or sound loudly throughout the house during cleaning days, impromptu performances constantly taking precedence over any sweeping or laundry. After all the work is done, the reenactments subside and turn to attentive viewings of Colm Wilkinson's legendary Jean Valjean or Bernadette Peters'  unique role of the witch. The tragedy of Fantine may be too complex for my young mind to fully grasp, but the music alone was more than enough to create the foundations for a life long interest.

Empty days full of rain or snow provide the best atmosphere for viewing the performances. On one memorable occasion, I find myself in the living room, perfectly content to put myself in the famous theaters of New York or London once again, dreaming of being able to do the same dramatic solos. Dad is playing a gig, and mom is mulling over her latest literary favorite, only half paying attention to my newest obsession. Dancing cats are obviously the most interesting thing I'd found thus far. Never before had I seen such colorful costumes or fabulous dancing, and nothing was more important than watching Webber's famous work on repeat (much to my parents' distaste).

However, believing that my own cats were just as eager to dance may have not have been the best of deductions. Trying to get a grumpy old tabby to do the miraculous twists and turns that I was quickly in love with results not in a perfect rendition of the opening number, but rather an irked feline and several unsavory scratches. Perhaps Bert, Ernie, and Cosmo did not want to be Broadway stars after all, and I should have heeded mom's warning. The show is put on hold while I receive vital medical attention, and despite my personal desire, our house pets never have to perform again.

Despite not having my own personal cat stars, my love for the shows never dwindled. Instead of focusing on the social obligations of elementary school, I tried to dance along to Annie. Instead of going to see the newest kid's movie hit, I went proudly downtown to see the performing arts school's productions of my favorites. Broadway and the world of musicals provided not only endless entertainment, but also warmth and happiness, representing something everyone in my family loved. Even today, though things aren't as simple or smooth, show tunes have a permanent residence in our home, their flashiness and emotion continuing to give reason for reenactments instead of cleaning and weekly family gatherings to watch the latest sensational production.